Terribly Pooped
I woke up today to my son telling me he was very sweaty. He explained, as I tried to figure out if I was even awake, that he had NOT wet the bed, but that it might look that way because of all the sweating. My wife suggested that I get him cleaned up because she had really only slept for a total of four hours, due to my completely unexpected snoring. I assured her it would be my absolute pleasure.
As I left for work, my neighbor was taking two garbage cans full of rattling wine bottles out for recycling and mentioned they had been meaning to invite us over for dinner, but that things had been really crazy lately. We agreed we would get together really soon and I told him I hoped he had a great day.
After explaining how awful the traffic had been on the way to the office that morning, my boss said she had heard there was some kind of gruesome accident and that the important thing was that I was okay. Later, she told me how everyone had been so impressed with all of my hard work and that she thought it would be a good idea if I took over the supervision of our team. I had been expecting it and assured her that it was not a good idea; it was a magnificent idea.
I became very busy telling people how busy my day had been, then called my wife to let her know I couldn’t wait to see her and I would be right home. Completely unexpectedly, I stopped at a local pub I had never been to before for just one drink. I left soon after and while safely driving home, a very courteous man asked me to pull over to the side of the road to talk. I promised I had only had the one beer but had also taken a new allergy medicine that did not seem to be agreeing with me. We both decided that explaining that to his judge friend would be the best way to go and that he should give me a ride home in the meantime.
As I explained later to my wife and kids that I had helped thwart a robbery and saved that officers life, earning myself a highly coveted spot in Spy Detective Training School for the next 18-24 months, my son asked me why my pants were all wet. I told him the day had left me very sweaty.
Written for “When Nothing Rings True”