The Time of Their Lives
“First off, the toaster oven was supposed to be a gift for my sister-in-law. Well, for Luann. She was only briefly my sister-in-law,” Crystal began. “Anyway, I bought the thing for Luann, but then she and Denny broke up the day after the wedding. I mean, I guess the problem really started when Denny got laid off from the Conoco station over by the highway. He had been working the register for about a year and a half and they had been talking about making him an assistant manager, so he took the news real surprised. They told him it wasn’t his fault or nothing and he said he didn’t care, but Denny got all depressed after that.
The thing about Denny is, he don’t mix well with boredom. He got to making trash fires and huffing paint thinner all the time, so Mama got to gettin’ on his case. Another thing about Denny is, he don’t like people getting’ on his case, so he started hanging out over at his friend Tommy’s all the time, so he didn’t have to listen to Mama carryin’ on. Well, Tommy’s brother got him a line on some illegal fireworks, and Denny started selling them out of his truck all over town. That’s when he met Luann.
Denny was out selling fireworks after the homecoming game, and Luann came by with some friends to get some stuff for the after-party. Boy, they really hit it off, and she invited him and Tommy to come to the party. After that night, Denny and Luann was always together. They was always partyin’, and sellin’ fireworks, and havin’ the time of their lives. Then Denny went and asked her to marry him.
I really liked Luann from the start, too. Her family came to town at the start of last summer from Biloxi. Since she was from the city, she knew all sorts of things about fashion and what-not. She even made my hair all fancy a couple of times, but I don’t know how to do it myself though. She had plans to go to beauty school next spring and take Denny back to Biloxi. Well, a couple of weeks before Christmas, Denny and Tommy got super-drunk and wild and burning stuff, when all those plans changed.
Denny caught a wild hair and tossed a bunch of them fireworks in the blaze. Poor Tommy got caught in the crossfire and got burnt up and his left arm blowed off, practically. Denny and Luann started visiting him in the hospital every day after that, but within a week or so, the cops came and hauled Denny off for possession of illegal fireworks and criminal negligence. Everybody figures it was Tommy’s mama that ratted him out.
Anyway, Luann kept going to visit Tommy while Denny was locked up, which was Denny’s idea, and I guess they got a little thing goin’. As Luann tells it, they was just spending so much time hanging out and talking while Tommy was recovering, they just fell in love on accident. The problem was, she still loved Denny, too, so she just went on with the wedding because she didn’t know what to do.
The day after the wedding, she told Denny she made a mistake and Tommy was her true love and all. So, now I’m stuck holding this toaster oven,” Crystal explained. “Alright, and did you want a refund?” the man at the customer service desk asked. “Store credit is fine,” she replied. “I can always find something I need at Wal-Mart.”
· Written for “Did You Want a Refund?”